Be alert when leaving the courthouse. If you have any reason to believe your abuser is waiting for you, go to the Court Advocate. Ask if someone (a police officer or court officer) can escort you to your car.

Inform the police of any guns/weapons the abuser keeps in the house. Guns or weapons will be ordered turned over to the police by a judge.

Change the locks on your home. If this is a hardship, a judge can order the abuser to turn over keys to your home (and your vehicle), or HUGS can pay for your locks to be changed.

Inform your neighbors if a 209A order is in place. Encourage them to call the police if they see or suspect that something is wrong.

Program your cell phone with the local police departments phone numbers for work and home. Set them up with a speed dial. When you are connected give them the best possible description of where you are calling from and that you need help. Keep your phone turned on at all times and charged completely.

Inspect your vehicle every time you enter your car. Check your tires, look for fluids leaking and then check your gas gage before you leave. Always keep you doors locked. If you suspect someone is following you, drive to an open convenience store or attended gas station or the police station. Stay in your car with the doors locked and honk your horn until someone comes to help you.

Leaving An Abusive Relationship:

Items to store in case you need to leave in a hurry:

• Cash (or ATM card)
• Credit Card
• Checkbook
• Drivers License
• Social Security Cards
• Medical Records
• Medication
• Marriage Certificate or Divorce Papers
• Restraining orders
• Pre-paid calling cards
• List of important or useful phone numbers
• Extra clothing
• Diapers
• Toys or other comforting items for children

Before a violent incident:

Create a safety plan including an escape route.

Keep emergency money and extra clothes for yourself and your children in a safe place or with someone you trust. Include a few toys and favorite things for the children.

Make a list of the things you need to take with you (birth/medical records, marriage license, checkbooks, credit cards, medications). If possible, keep these items together in a place that is easily reached in an emergency.

Have phone numbers for hospitals and emergency shelters nearby.
Keep phone numbers for support groups. (Gathering information and gaining support are important steps in making crucial decisions.)

If you feel you may be in immediate danger, dial the police number and hang up before it rings so that the redial button will automatically call the police if you need them quickly.

During a violent incident:

Move away from an area in which you can be trapped (i.e. a place that has no doors, windows, or phone).

Leave a room that has potential weapons in it, such as the kitchen.

Use your own judgment and instincts. Work with the threatening situation in the best way you can think of to calm the person down. In the midst of a violent incident, your most important job is keeping yourself, and your children, safe.

After an violent incident:

If the abuser is still in the house, get out.

Call the police as soon as possible. They will respond and stay with you until you are safe or in a safe place.

Get medical attention; you may be injured more seriously than you realize. Go to a hospital emergency room or your private doctor for treatment. Always ask for a copy of the medical record.

Have pictures taken of your injuries and bruises at the hospital or police department.